Finding Your Core Values — A Practical Starting Point
A straightforward approach to identifying what actually matters to you, without overthinking or judgment.
Read ArticleLife Alignment: From Values Clarity to Daily Action
Knowing your values is the first step. This guide shows you how to actually align your daily choices, time, and energy with what matters most to you.
Why Values Matter More Than Goals
Most people chase goals without asking a simple question: why do I actually want this? You’ll spend months working toward something only to realize it doesn’t feel right. The disconnect happens because you’re not living from your values — you’re living from other people’s expectations or outdated versions of yourself.
Values aren’t abstract ideas. They’re the operating system for your life. When you know them and live them, everything else gets easier. Your decisions become faster. Your energy stops leaking into things that don’t matter. And you’ll notice something surprising: you’ll actually enjoy the work you’re doing, not just tolerate it.
Getting Crystal Clear on Your Core Values
Start here. Not with your 10-year plan or your dream job. Start with three to five core values. These aren’t the values you think you should have — they’re the ones that actually drive your behavior when nobody’s watching.
One useful exercise: think about the times you’ve felt most alive, most proud of yourself. What were you doing? Who were you with? What was happening? The patterns that emerge? That’s your value system talking. Common core values include growth, connection, creativity, independence, service, security, and adventure. But yours might be completely different. That’s the point.
Write down 3-5 values that resonate. Don’t overthink it. Then for each one, write a single sentence explaining what it actually means to you. “Growth means I want to challenge myself professionally and personally.” “Connection means I prioritize time with people I care about.” Make it specific to your life.
The Gap Between Values and Reality
Here’s where most people get stuck. You’ve got your values written down. They look great. And then Monday happens and you’re back in your regular life making the same choices as before.
The gap between your values and your actual life is where alignment lives. It’s not about perfection. It’s about incremental change. You don’t need to overhaul everything tomorrow. But you do need to audit how your time and energy are actually spent right now.
The Alignment Audit
Spend three days tracking how you spend your time. Be honest. Work, sleep, scrolling, conversations, obligations — all of it. Then map each activity against your core values. Does this activity support or undermine my values? You’ll see patterns immediately. Most people discover they’re spending 60% of their discretionary time on things that don’t matter to them.
From Clarity to Action: Three Practical Steps
01
Identify One Misalignment
Pick the single area of your life that feels most off. Maybe it’s a job that doesn’t match your values. A relationship draining your energy. Or time spent on obligations that don’t matter to you. Start with one, not five. You’ll change faster if you focus.
02
Make One Small Change
Don’t quit your job next week. Don’t cut everyone off. Make a small change that moves you toward alignment. If growth is your value but you’re stuck in routine work, take one class. If connection matters but you’re isolated, schedule one coffee date. Small actions compound.
03
Build Weekly Check-ins
Every Sunday, spend 15 minutes asking: did I live my values this week? What activities aligned? What pulled me off track? This isn’t judgment. It’s feedback. You’ll start making more aligned choices because you’re paying attention.
Living Your Values Doesn’t Require a Complete Overhaul
The best part? You don’t need to change everything. You’re not starting over. You’re making intentional decisions within your existing life. Some jobs can become more aligned with small shifts in how you approach them. Some relationships can deepen when you bring more of your authentic self.
What you will notice after a few weeks of this work: your decisions get easier. You say no to things that don’t fit. You feel less scattered. And there’s a quietness that comes when your external life matches your internal compass. That’s alignment. It doesn’t feel like forcing yourself into someone else’s mold. It feels like coming home.
Start this week. Write down three to five values. Then spend three days tracking your time. See where the gaps are. Make one small change that moves you closer. That’s it. That’s the beginning.
About This Guide
This article is educational and informational. It shares approaches and frameworks for personal reflection and decision-making. It’s not therapy, counseling, or personalized advice. Everyone’s situation is unique. If you’re working through significant life changes, relationship challenges, or mental health concerns, consider speaking with a qualified therapist or counselor who can provide individualized support based on your specific circumstances. The exercises described here are general practices intended to help with self-reflection — they’re not a substitute for professional guidance.
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